A Reflection on God's Perfect Timing

A Birthday Tale

I cherish a special memory from years ago when I was a student at Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. It was the year 2010, November 15th, and that particular birthday held a unique significance—it marked my first birthday in the physical presence of Baba at Puttaparthi.

Those of us with birthdays were granted a unique privilege—we got to occupy a special space known as the birthday block. Here, we could present akshathas (sacred grains), to Baba. If it was His will, He would pick some from the tray and place them on our heads as a blessing. What an incredible opportunity it was! I couldn't contain my joy at the prospect of receiving the blessings of my beloved Guru and Deity on this special day.

Baba's Promise Goes Unfulfilled

I prepared everything for the evening Darshan – a new white safari suit, akshathas, cloves, and toffees, keeping with the tradition several batches followed. Seated with a few other boys in the birthday block, we eagerly waited as Baba arrived around 6:45 pm. He blessed the ladies, scattered vibhuti packets on little girls, and then circled Sai Kulwanth hall, showering divine blessings.

As He approached the birthday boys, He blessed a couple and assured the rest, including me, saying, "I will call you up and bless", before moving towards the dias. That evening, the renowned Ustad Amjad Ali Khan and Carnatic singer Abhishek Raghuram were set to perform in Baba's presence. I thought maybe Baba planned to call us for blessings after their concerts and before Mangala Aarathi. I was actually thrilled at the idea of getting a one-on-one photo with Swami.

As the performances ended, my excitement grew. However, to my dismay, Swami called for Mangala Arathi and proceeded towards Yajur Mandir. I felt numb and betrayed, questioning how He could deny the promised blessing, especially after assuring us he would call us up for his blessings.

Baba departs from the Darshan Hall without keeping His promise.

Crushed Hopes

Feeling utterly disappointed, I returned, my excitement replaced by a heavy heart. My classmates tried to console me, saying that the warden might let us sit in the birthday block for a few more days to increase our chances of receiving blessings. This brought some relief, and the next day, hopeful, I approached the warden for an authorization slip to continue sitting in the birthday block.

His response left me bewildered. "Sorry! You lost your chance. We cannot allow many boys to crowd around Swami. His physical health is not good. Try your luck next year!" The coldness of his words caught me off guard, and I felt a profound sense of loss and betrayal. I reluctantly settled in one of the last rows during Darshan, unable to muster the enthusiasm to look at Baba. Looking back, I question my audacity for taking His Darshan for granted, but the pain I felt that day was undeniably real.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, Swami, had His own way of crushing all the ego that we manage to gather over the years. To my utter disbelief, I saw all the boys, except me, who didn't receive birthday blessings the previous day, sitting in the birthday block. Confused, I asked around and learned that they were from the Prashanthi Nilayam campus, and their warden had approved their presence in the birthday block. It felt incredibly unfair.

As if that wasn't enough, Baba arrived for Darshan and blessed all the boys without exception. Overwhelmed with emotion, I couldn't hold back my tears right there in the Darshan Hall. In my thoughts, I had a strong and direct conversation with Baba, asking why He allowed me to go through such pain. I wondered aloud, "Swami, if you didn't want to bless me physically, why did you even admit me to your college? This is so painful. I feel like You planned to avoid me from the start." The words couldn't capture the depth of the pain I experienced.

A Divine Twist

Days turned into months, and soon a year passed. Baba's physical departure the following year, with His Mahasamadhi, shifted my feelings from being cheated to a sense of anguish towards the warden. Denying one simple act resulted in missing the rare opportunity to be blessed by Baba. The only way I could deal with this was through acceptance. Time continued to pass.

Early Hours, Mystical Blessings

In my final year of undergraduation at Brindavan, on my birthday, the first thing I did was take a big Dairy Milk chocolate and offered it to my Swami, seeking His blessings. As students of Baba's college, we had the special privilege of entering His residence compound at Trayee Brindavan.  I placed the chocolate at the main door entrance, prayed for His blessings, and took a Pradakshina around His residence. Upon my return, to my surprise, the chocolate was missing! It was early in the morning around 6:30 AM, with nobody else around. Baba showed His omnipotence, proving that physical presence hardly matters when He chooses to bless!

Soulful Moments: Prayers Outside Trayee Brindavan

An Evening of Abundance

Every Thursday, students were blessed with the golden opportunity to have bhajan sessions inside Swami's residence (Trayee). I was fortunate as my birthday happened to fall on a Thursday. Being a part of the bhajan group, I also had the blessing of leading one of my favorite bhajans, "Dehi Sharanam Simha Vahini" inside Trayee.

After the bhajans, I offered a rose at Swami's footrest, feeling completely fulfilled. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, Swami, in His infinite grace, had more surprises in store. The custodian of Baba's residence approached me and asked me to stay back after the other students had left. I waited until the boys left to the hostel, and then he led me to the upper chambers where Baba used to reside!

The space was filled with an indescribable energy, and every inch of the chamber seemed to pulse with such divine vibrations! It was an awe-inspiring experience, and as I walked this sacred space, I couldn't help but feel goosebumps all over me! I expressed my heartfelt gratitude to the custodian for such a unique privilege and returned to the hostel, feeling truly blessed.

Capturing the Grace of Trayee Brindavan after Sundown

The Grand Revelation

With a heart full of gratitude, I went to sleep, and the next morning, like every day, I headed to Trayee Brindavan to sit and meditate before starting my day. As I closed my eyes, I suddenly heard an inner voice saying, "Bangaru, as promised, I called you up and blessed."  It caught me off guard, and I couldn't comprehend it at first. Then, a swift flashback transported me to the events of my birthday in 2010—Baba's words echoing, "I will call you up and bless." I couldn't believe what Swami had done. He did call me up on my birthday and blessed, not on the public dias as I had understood back then, but within the sanctity of His upper chambers, as He had foretold two years earlier!

We humans often have our own limited ideas of how things should unfold. God's ways are mysterious, and He operates on His own timeframe. One realization that dawned on me was the power of His word. Every utterance from His lips is nothing but the truth, destined to materialize. If we are fortunate, it is made known to us.

Reflecting on this, do I consider that perhaps I wasn't ready for the blessings back in 2010?  Is it possible that He felt I needed more time to ripen before granting me the experience? I believe the best way to live is to trust in His timing without attaching a specific meaning or logical reason to His direction. Perhaps there is none, or what is, lies beyond my realm of understanding.

This brings to mind a beautiful message Baba conveyed in the form of a poem during one of His discourses in 1996. The translation goes like:

"Do not ask, oh mind, do not ask.

The more you ask, the more it gets delayed.

God will certainly grant you what you deserve without your asking.

Did He not grant the wish of Sabari, who never asked?

Did He not redeem Jatayu, who never asked but sacrificed his life for His cause?

Do not ask, oh mind, do not ask."